Here's the final piece:
Wednesday 30 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Final Cut
After producing a rough cut and a fine cut, I finally reached a final cut of my trailer. During the editing process it always seemed like I would never see the end, there was always something to work on, but now I have finished the trailer and I am really pleased with the outcome.
Here's the final piece:
Here's the final piece:
Tuesday 29 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Final Script
After 3 drafts, I finally reached a script that I was happy with. I was actually quite happy with my 3rd draft, however it was too long. In this final version I cut out any action / dialogue which added nothing to the story. Soon enough I reduced the script to 10 pages long.
Here's a summary of my finished screenplay:
- John and mum have conversation face to face
- Kyle distracts John from working at home
- John goes to work
- Kyle distracts John at his office
- John runs into Kyle on the way home from work - they argue.
- Kyle distracts John at home again
- John becomes agitated and heads to the pier
- Kyle talks John down from committing suicide
- They both go to the doctors (reveal that Kyle isn't real)
- Join John 2 months after intensive treatment, Kyle is gone
Here's a copy of the full screenplay:
Overall I am mostly happy with my screenplay. There are a few things I would change but it was not possible with the page limit. I feel that my idea may have been more suited to a feature length film screenplay rather than a short film screenplay as there were many more things I wanted to do with the storyline.
Here's a summary of my finished screenplay:
- John and mum have conversation face to face
- Kyle distracts John from working at home
- John goes to work
- Kyle distracts John at his office
- John runs into Kyle on the way home from work - they argue.
- Kyle distracts John at home again
- John becomes agitated and heads to the pier
- Kyle talks John down from committing suicide
- They both go to the doctors (reveal that Kyle isn't real)
- Join John 2 months after intensive treatment, Kyle is gone
Here's a copy of the full screenplay:
Overall I am mostly happy with my screenplay. There are a few things I would change but it was not possible with the page limit. I feel that my idea may have been more suited to a feature length film screenplay rather than a short film screenplay as there were many more things I wanted to do with the storyline.
Monday 28 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Second Cut / Fine Cut
After getting feedback from Simon and Mike, I decided to have another go at editing my trailer. I really liked the feedback I received as it has definitely made my trailer stronger. After implementing their feedback this is what I came up with:
The only thing I have left to do is insert a production logo on the first black screen and change the titles slightly both at the beginning and end. I also decided to adjust some of the stabilisation.
Saturday 26 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Soft Trailer
As preparation for filming our trailers / first 2 minutes of our screenplays, Simon set us the task of creating a trailer for a short film we watched as a group; Soft. Here's what I did:
I decided to do the trailer mainly to music with a few of the sounds from the actual short film left in. I decided to do this because this is a common convention that I have observed in many contemporary film trailers. This enables the mood of the piece to be set, then the sound from the actual film allows the audience to gain an insight to the storyline.
As well as creating this trailer for Soft, I wanted to do some research into other trailers in order to gain an understanding of what mine should be like.
The Great Gatsby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OULhlaX6JY4
This trailer uses a mixture of songs from the soundtrack and pieces of dialogue from the movie. The songs help to set the time period of the piece as the 1920s. All the clips are quite short to prevent the storyline from being given away, yet enough of the narrative is shown to evoke interest within the audience. Dialogue from the film such as "Who is this Gatsby?" and "Gatsby? What Gatsby?" are used in order to create a sense of mystery and enigma which again captures the attention and interest of the audience.
The Grand Budapest Hotel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgGXL5lJ-6g
Like the trailer for The Great Gatsby, this trailer also uses a mixture of background music and dialogue. The trailer includes some voice over in order to reveal a little part of the narrative, the trailer then becomes more focused on the action within the film and a few sections of dialogue between characters. Towards the end of the trailer, fast paced editing is used in order to create excitement in the audience. This fast editing also prevents much information being given away which adds a sense of enigma and wonder. After watching the trailer you are still left to wonder what they complete storyline is.
What is important in a trailer?
- enigma (keep the audience interested and excited to see the actual film)
- a sense of mood (whether this is through music or dialogue, the audience should be able to tell what genre the film is)
- excitement / a twist (their should be something that makes the audience want to watch the actual film, if the trailer leaves the film being predictable the audience won't bother seeing the film - however, if the trailer involves a twist, the audience will want to see the film to see how it is resolved).
I decided to do the trailer mainly to music with a few of the sounds from the actual short film left in. I decided to do this because this is a common convention that I have observed in many contemporary film trailers. This enables the mood of the piece to be set, then the sound from the actual film allows the audience to gain an insight to the storyline.
As well as creating this trailer for Soft, I wanted to do some research into other trailers in order to gain an understanding of what mine should be like.
The Great Gatsby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OULhlaX6JY4
This trailer uses a mixture of songs from the soundtrack and pieces of dialogue from the movie. The songs help to set the time period of the piece as the 1920s. All the clips are quite short to prevent the storyline from being given away, yet enough of the narrative is shown to evoke interest within the audience. Dialogue from the film such as "Who is this Gatsby?" and "Gatsby? What Gatsby?" are used in order to create a sense of mystery and enigma which again captures the attention and interest of the audience.
The Grand Budapest Hotel:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgGXL5lJ-6g
Like the trailer for The Great Gatsby, this trailer also uses a mixture of background music and dialogue. The trailer includes some voice over in order to reveal a little part of the narrative, the trailer then becomes more focused on the action within the film and a few sections of dialogue between characters. Towards the end of the trailer, fast paced editing is used in order to create excitement in the audience. This fast editing also prevents much information being given away which adds a sense of enigma and wonder. After watching the trailer you are still left to wonder what they complete storyline is.
What is important in a trailer?
- enigma (keep the audience interested and excited to see the actual film)
- a sense of mood (whether this is through music or dialogue, the audience should be able to tell what genre the film is)
- excitement / a twist (their should be something that makes the audience want to watch the actual film, if the trailer leaves the film being predictable the audience won't bother seeing the film - however, if the trailer involves a twist, the audience will want to see the film to see how it is resolved).
Friday 25 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Script - The Third Draft
Although my second draft was a massive improvement on my first draft, there was still a long way to go.
In my second draft, I decided against Kyle being a part of the doctor's scene, instead I just had him sat next to John. However, I reconsidered this decisions as having Kyle participate in this scene would make for a much more interesting scene.
In this scene Kyle tells the doctor about some of John's symptoms. (Although, as Kyle exists only in John's head, the doctor wouldn't be able to hear this). I therefore thought John's list of symptoms was a very important prop in this scene. He still hands the doctor a list of what he is experiencing, therefore enabling the doctor to make a diagnosis.
Kyle telling the doctor some of the symptoms helps to show how Kyle overpowers John and takes control over him. This helps to make the reveal that Kyle is a hallucination much more dramatic. It also makes the audience realise why Kyle behaves the way he does throughout the drama.
The idea of the reveal occurring when the doctor turns away then turns back to just John sitting there alone was actually Steve's idea. I really liked this idea as the audience really wouldn't expect the reveal to happen in this way, making this a memorable moment:
Adapting this scene has made me like my screenplay a lot more, however, with these additions the screenplay now comes to 12 pages. I now need to go about cutting some of the scenes down in order for the screenplay to fit into 10 pages.
In my second draft, I decided against Kyle being a part of the doctor's scene, instead I just had him sat next to John. However, I reconsidered this decisions as having Kyle participate in this scene would make for a much more interesting scene.
In this scene Kyle tells the doctor about some of John's symptoms. (Although, as Kyle exists only in John's head, the doctor wouldn't be able to hear this). I therefore thought John's list of symptoms was a very important prop in this scene. He still hands the doctor a list of what he is experiencing, therefore enabling the doctor to make a diagnosis.
Kyle telling the doctor some of the symptoms helps to show how Kyle overpowers John and takes control over him. This helps to make the reveal that Kyle is a hallucination much more dramatic. It also makes the audience realise why Kyle behaves the way he does throughout the drama.
The idea of the reveal occurring when the doctor turns away then turns back to just John sitting there alone was actually Steve's idea. I really liked this idea as the audience really wouldn't expect the reveal to happen in this way, making this a memorable moment:
Adapting this scene has made me like my screenplay a lot more, however, with these additions the screenplay now comes to 12 pages. I now need to go about cutting some of the scenes down in order for the screenplay to fit into 10 pages.
Thursday 24 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Rough Cut and Feedback with Simon Welsford and Mike Rymer
Having finished my shoot a day early, I decided to get straight into editing.
This is the first rough cut of my footage. I decided to get it checked despite knowing I still needed to edit my sound, change the order of a few clips and stabilise some of the footage.
I got quite a positive response from both Simon and Mike.
Simon's Feedback:
- Adjust the audio levels.
- Add a shot of John inside the house when Kyle knocks on the door. This shows that John is deliberately ignoring him (otherwise the audience may assume John was not at home).
I raised a couple of doubts I had with Simon such as the overlapped footage. I was worried that it may look a little messy, however Simon thought it worked. Therefore, I decided to leave it in but change it slightly as it obviously produced my intended effect of showing John's state of confusion.
Mike's Feedback:
- Fill the long black screen between the camera rising up above the laptop and John talking on the phone.
- Make the ringtone quieter to match the rest of the audio.
- At the end, to someone who doesn't know the story, it doesn't look like John is going to jump. Add a clip that tells them that he is going to jump.
- When Kyle says "John, don't" - have him say "John" from the first angle (behind the 2 actors), and don't when the camera is facing both actors.
Here's my 1st rough cut:
This is the first rough cut of my footage. I decided to get it checked despite knowing I still needed to edit my sound, change the order of a few clips and stabilise some of the footage.
I got quite a positive response from both Simon and Mike.
Simon's Feedback:
- Adjust the audio levels.
- Add a shot of John inside the house when Kyle knocks on the door. This shows that John is deliberately ignoring him (otherwise the audience may assume John was not at home).
I raised a couple of doubts I had with Simon such as the overlapped footage. I was worried that it may look a little messy, however Simon thought it worked. Therefore, I decided to leave it in but change it slightly as it obviously produced my intended effect of showing John's state of confusion.
Mike's Feedback:
- Fill the long black screen between the camera rising up above the laptop and John talking on the phone.
- Make the ringtone quieter to match the rest of the audio.
- At the end, to someone who doesn't know the story, it doesn't look like John is going to jump. Add a clip that tells them that he is going to jump.
- When Kyle says "John, don't" - have him say "John" from the first angle (behind the 2 actors), and don't when the camera is facing both actors.
Here's my 1st rough cut:
Tuesday 22 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - British TV Drama - Glue (2014)
Glue (2014) written by Jack Thorne.
Synopsis:
- "When the body of a local teenage boy is found under the wheels of a tractor in the quiet (and fictional) village of Overton, the lives of his friends are thrown into the spotlight and suddenly come under more scrutiny than they can handle." [1]
Glue is a 2014 British Crime Drama that focuses on finding the killer of a local teenage boy, Cal.
The writer of the series Jack Thorne described the series as "Broadchurch meets Skins" and revealed that aspects of the storyline were based on his own teenage experiences in Berkshire.
Review:
Storyline:
I thought the storyline for Glue was very creative. There was the main narrative (finding Cal's murderer) but there were also side stories as well such as Rob being blackmailed, personal conflicts and tension between the local community and the Romany community.
Each episode ended up on some sort of cliffhanger, making the audience want to watch the next episode. The multi-narrative structure really enabled the writers to keep throwing in plot twists that were compelling and still believable.
e.g. episode 5 ended with the reveal that James could have a motive for killing Cal - however, this was simply revealed through the plans of selling a race horse called Blackout - the reveal was believable and therefore made the story more realistic and interesting for the audience.
Cliffhangers are a great tool for creating suspense and keeping an audience interested - I will therefore try to work a cliffhanger into my trailer in order to create suspense and enigma, making the audience interested and excited about the piece.
The different narratives also enabled the main narrative to be dragged out without becoming boring. The side stories meant the audience's attention could be focused on these whilst occasionally diverting their attention back to the main story. This enabled the series to stay constantly fresh and exciting for the audience. This also prevented the story from becoming too predictable. If each episode focused on the main narrative, too much information would subsequently be given away, meaning the storyline may become predictable and boring for the audience.
I also liked the way that Cal's character was used as a sort of hallucination of James'. This allowed the character to reveal to both the audience and the character James information that the other characters didn't know. This made the storyline much more exciting as the audience had access to information that some of the characters didn't know - this left the audience to wonder how and when the other characters would find out this information.
e.g. it is revealed that James and Cal actually had a romance. This was unknown to the other characters, leaving the audience to speculate about when the other characters would find out.
This narrative technique is very useful as it makes the audience eager to keep watching in order to find out how all this information they know is revealed to the characters.
The use of a hallucination within this drama was of great interest to me as my short film revolves around the character John and his hallucination Kyle. I liked the way that they still kept the hallucination / character's actions realistic yet still added clues that he wasn't real.
e.g. in one scene in the woods, Cal is there one minute and gone the next. He is gone quicker than a person can run, suggesting to the audience that he wasn't there in the first place.
I aim to use a similar technique in the scene in the doctor's office in my short film. The doctor will turn away from John and Kyle to grab a couple of leaflets, when the doctor turns back it will just be John sitting there.
Characters:
Rob - Rob is conveyed as a bit of a 'bad boy'. He doesn't stay faithful to his girlfriend Tina and ends up paying the price for it by being blackmailed by an anonymous person.
James - James is quite a quiet character throughout the series, yet he is one of the most important. He had a secret romance with Cal (Eli's younger brother) before he Cal was murdered. James ends up getting arrested on suspicion of murdering Cal.
Cal - Cal is the teenage boy who is found dead in the first episode. The main plot revolves around finding his murderer.
Ruth - Ruth is a half Romany policewoman who has to decide between protecting the travelling community and aiding the police investigation.
Tina - Tina is unconventional and unpredictable. She is Rob's girlfriend, however, upon discovering his cheating decides to pursue a relationship with Eli.
Eli - Eli is Cal's brother. His dad is in jail and his mother is dead, leaving Cal being his only real family. Once Cal is murdered, he has no one.
The main thing I liked about Glue was the way they attempted to produce more realistic characters rather than the typical usual teen clichés. None of the characters fit the typical stereotypes of teen dramas, there is no 'popular one' or 'nerdy one'. All the characters are unique and complex, making them something the audience can relate to more. The more relatable the characters, the more likely the audience is to sympathise with them and keep watching to see what happens to the characters that they have become attached to.
The writer of the series, Thorne, believes that Glue is the 'first British drama to place an accurate representation of Britain's Romany community on screen'. I really liked Glue's representation of the Romany culture as it shows them as having much more of a wholesome / community attitude than other programmes have previously shown. It challenges the representations of traveller life conveyed in programmes such as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding by trying to show a more realistic perspective. The actress who plays the half Romany policewoman revealed that they learnt about the Romany culture to be able to work out how the characters would react to the situations they are put in during the drama series. [2]
Mise en scene, camera work and editing
Everything about Glue is strong; the characters, the storyline, and the mise en scene, camerawork and editing do not disappoint. It is very clear that the quality and originality of the way the series was shot was of great importance. This is even evident in the trailer:
https://vimeo.com/106974358
- The use of the colour red helps to connote the danger within the series.
(e.g. the red flares, the red flames, the red blood dripping)
- The use of low key lighting helps to create a sense of mystery which is what the storyline revolves around.
(e.g. the shadows cast on Tina's face & the shadows on Ruth's face at the end)
Conclusion
Overall, I think Glue was a very strong British drama series as it was unique, original and compelling. The multi-narrative structure enabled the writers to keep the series interesting and the audience entertained. The strength and realistic nature of the characters kept the story interesting as it shows how normal people react to surreal situations. The series is also supported by what I found in my additional research around screenwriting. The writers took unique characters and unusual storylines and told them in a conventional way - this made for a great drama series.
Bibliography:
[1] Attitude, 2014. TV Pick Of The Week: Channel 4's 'Glue' [online] Available at: < http://attitude.co.uk/tv-pick-of-the-week-e4s-glue/ > [Accessed on: 22/11/2016]
[2] The Independent, 2014. Glue: E4 drama exposes 'rotting despair' of English countryside [online] Available at: <http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/new-e4-drama-glue-exposes-rotting-despair-of-english-countryside-9732854.html> [Accessed on: 22/11/2016]
Synopsis:
- "When the body of a local teenage boy is found under the wheels of a tractor in the quiet (and fictional) village of Overton, the lives of his friends are thrown into the spotlight and suddenly come under more scrutiny than they can handle." [1]
Glue is a 2014 British Crime Drama that focuses on finding the killer of a local teenage boy, Cal.
The writer of the series Jack Thorne described the series as "Broadchurch meets Skins" and revealed that aspects of the storyline were based on his own teenage experiences in Berkshire.
Review:
Storyline:
I thought the storyline for Glue was very creative. There was the main narrative (finding Cal's murderer) but there were also side stories as well such as Rob being blackmailed, personal conflicts and tension between the local community and the Romany community.
Each episode ended up on some sort of cliffhanger, making the audience want to watch the next episode. The multi-narrative structure really enabled the writers to keep throwing in plot twists that were compelling and still believable.
e.g. episode 5 ended with the reveal that James could have a motive for killing Cal - however, this was simply revealed through the plans of selling a race horse called Blackout - the reveal was believable and therefore made the story more realistic and interesting for the audience.
Cliffhangers are a great tool for creating suspense and keeping an audience interested - I will therefore try to work a cliffhanger into my trailer in order to create suspense and enigma, making the audience interested and excited about the piece.
The different narratives also enabled the main narrative to be dragged out without becoming boring. The side stories meant the audience's attention could be focused on these whilst occasionally diverting their attention back to the main story. This enabled the series to stay constantly fresh and exciting for the audience. This also prevented the story from becoming too predictable. If each episode focused on the main narrative, too much information would subsequently be given away, meaning the storyline may become predictable and boring for the audience.
I also liked the way that Cal's character was used as a sort of hallucination of James'. This allowed the character to reveal to both the audience and the character James information that the other characters didn't know. This made the storyline much more exciting as the audience had access to information that some of the characters didn't know - this left the audience to wonder how and when the other characters would find out this information.
e.g. it is revealed that James and Cal actually had a romance. This was unknown to the other characters, leaving the audience to speculate about when the other characters would find out.
This narrative technique is very useful as it makes the audience eager to keep watching in order to find out how all this information they know is revealed to the characters.
The use of a hallucination within this drama was of great interest to me as my short film revolves around the character John and his hallucination Kyle. I liked the way that they still kept the hallucination / character's actions realistic yet still added clues that he wasn't real.
e.g. in one scene in the woods, Cal is there one minute and gone the next. He is gone quicker than a person can run, suggesting to the audience that he wasn't there in the first place.
I aim to use a similar technique in the scene in the doctor's office in my short film. The doctor will turn away from John and Kyle to grab a couple of leaflets, when the doctor turns back it will just be John sitting there.
Characters:
Rob - Rob is conveyed as a bit of a 'bad boy'. He doesn't stay faithful to his girlfriend Tina and ends up paying the price for it by being blackmailed by an anonymous person.
James - James is quite a quiet character throughout the series, yet he is one of the most important. He had a secret romance with Cal (Eli's younger brother) before he Cal was murdered. James ends up getting arrested on suspicion of murdering Cal.
Cal - Cal is the teenage boy who is found dead in the first episode. The main plot revolves around finding his murderer.
Tina - Tina is unconventional and unpredictable. She is Rob's girlfriend, however, upon discovering his cheating decides to pursue a relationship with Eli.
The main thing I liked about Glue was the way they attempted to produce more realistic characters rather than the typical usual teen clichés. None of the characters fit the typical stereotypes of teen dramas, there is no 'popular one' or 'nerdy one'. All the characters are unique and complex, making them something the audience can relate to more. The more relatable the characters, the more likely the audience is to sympathise with them and keep watching to see what happens to the characters that they have become attached to.
The writer of the series, Thorne, believes that Glue is the 'first British drama to place an accurate representation of Britain's Romany community on screen'. I really liked Glue's representation of the Romany culture as it shows them as having much more of a wholesome / community attitude than other programmes have previously shown. It challenges the representations of traveller life conveyed in programmes such as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding by trying to show a more realistic perspective. The actress who plays the half Romany policewoman revealed that they learnt about the Romany culture to be able to work out how the characters would react to the situations they are put in during the drama series. [2]
Mise en scene, camera work and editing
Everything about Glue is strong; the characters, the storyline, and the mise en scene, camerawork and editing do not disappoint. It is very clear that the quality and originality of the way the series was shot was of great importance. This is even evident in the trailer:
https://vimeo.com/106974358
- The use of the colour red helps to connote the danger within the series.
(e.g. the red flares, the red flames, the red blood dripping)
- The use of low key lighting helps to create a sense of mystery which is what the storyline revolves around.
(e.g. the shadows cast on Tina's face & the shadows on Ruth's face at the end)
Conclusion
Overall, I think Glue was a very strong British drama series as it was unique, original and compelling. The multi-narrative structure enabled the writers to keep the series interesting and the audience entertained. The strength and realistic nature of the characters kept the story interesting as it shows how normal people react to surreal situations. The series is also supported by what I found in my additional research around screenwriting. The writers took unique characters and unusual storylines and told them in a conventional way - this made for a great drama series.
Bibliography:
[1] Attitude, 2014. TV Pick Of The Week: Channel 4's 'Glue' [online] Available at: < http://attitude.co.uk/tv-pick-of-the-week-e4s-glue/ > [Accessed on: 22/11/2016]
[2] The Independent, 2014. Glue: E4 drama exposes 'rotting despair' of English countryside [online] Available at: <http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/new-e4-drama-glue-exposes-rotting-despair-of-english-countryside-9732854.html> [Accessed on: 22/11/2016]
Sunday 20 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Script - The Second Draft
Following the feedback given by Steve, I started the second draft of my script.
I decided to just put in all his advice and see what this transformed my screenplay into. One of the main things Steve wanted me to change was adding more scenes and making more time pass. My original draft had just 7 scenes, my current draft now has 14 scenes.
Steve wanted me to change the phone call scene between John and his mum. This scene was clumsy and revealed too much information that wasn't really necessary. Steve also wanted me to introduce John as a character before plunging straight into the action. I therefore decided to kill to birds with one stone. I changed my screenplay to open on a conversation between John and his mum in person. This scene subtly reveals that John has the tendency to get overloaded at work and that he also thinks of himself as being a very important part of his work.
Here's the beginning before Steve's feedback:
Here's the beginning after Steve's feedback:
Steve also suggested I added more interaction between the two main characters. I therefore decided to add this scene where Kyle is now disrupting John at his place of work rather than just casually at home. I feel that this scene really helps to add depth to the characters and their friendship. It shows that Kyle has really crossed a line by coming to John's work:
Steve also felt that I got rid of Kyle too early and that Kyle should actually be a part of the doctor's office scene. Therefore, I introduced Kyle into the scene but left him as a silent character as he is only a hallucination of John's.
I decided to just put in all his advice and see what this transformed my screenplay into. One of the main things Steve wanted me to change was adding more scenes and making more time pass. My original draft had just 7 scenes, my current draft now has 14 scenes.
Steve wanted me to change the phone call scene between John and his mum. This scene was clumsy and revealed too much information that wasn't really necessary. Steve also wanted me to introduce John as a character before plunging straight into the action. I therefore decided to kill to birds with one stone. I changed my screenplay to open on a conversation between John and his mum in person. This scene subtly reveals that John has the tendency to get overloaded at work and that he also thinks of himself as being a very important part of his work.
Here's the beginning before Steve's feedback:
Here's the beginning after Steve's feedback:
Steve also suggested I added more interaction between the two main characters. I therefore decided to add this scene where Kyle is now disrupting John at his place of work rather than just casually at home. I feel that this scene really helps to add depth to the characters and their friendship. It shows that Kyle has really crossed a line by coming to John's work:
Steve also felt that I got rid of Kyle too early and that Kyle should actually be a part of the doctor's office scene. Therefore, I introduced Kyle into the scene but left him as a silent character as he is only a hallucination of John's.
Saturday 19 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Screenwriting
Before making more adjustments to my script, I decided to conduct more research into the art of screenwriting.
I ended up stumbling upon this fascinating interview with director Peter Hanson. The interview was about his documentary called Tales From the Script (2009) which includes interviews with screenwriters.
In the interview Hanson discusses whether he considers himself more of a screenwriter than a filmmaker. He revealed that he regards himself as a filmmaker rather than a screenwriter. He also reveals in the interview that he believes we are going back to the days where the concept holds more prevalence than the stars in the film. There was a period of time where star power was what attracted and audience to a movie, however, Hanson believes this is no longer the case. The audience is far more interested in the concept / storyline rather than the stars playing the characters. This shows that screenwriting is still massively important as this is how the story is conveyed (and if the audience is now more interested in the concept rather than the stars, the quality of the screenwriting is more important than ever).
Hanson reveals that unique and unusual concepts often make for better screenplays. He suggests that the best advice for aspiring screenwriters is "demonstrate to people how you can be unusual" and "find a way to deliver what is unusual about you in a conventional format". [1]
He provides an example:
"If you want to write a really satiric story, write it in a conventional fashion because what you have now told the person reading that screenplay is that you can take really difficult material and you can present it in such a way that anyone can understand it and that anyone can grasp what is exciting about it" [1]
I found his advice very useful as I am always trying to find unique ways to tell the story rather than coming up with a unique story and telling it in a conventional way. This advice should make adapting my screenplay a whole lot more straightforward.
I would really recommend checking out the interview:
[1] Youtube, 2012. The Art of Screenwriting [online] Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WpFXG1wRwc> [Accessed on: 19/11/2016]
Wednesday 16 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Shooting 'Distracted'
Even though I had done a tonne of preparation for the shoot, I came face to face with a huge problem the evening before my shoot. I couldn't get to the studios to pick up all the camera equipment. Fortunately, I have a lot of my own camera equipment (DSLR camera, soft box fluorescent lights, tripods and microphones). As soon as I recognised that there would be a problem getting to the studios, I contacted Simon asking if it was alright for me to use my own equipment for the shoot.
Here's the email:
Once I had the all clear to use my own camera equipment, I was all ready to start my shoot in the morning.
Shoot day
09:00 - I began setting up the camera equipment, lights and microphone so that all was ready by the time my actors arrived.
09:30 - I picked up Jason from the station and took him to the first location, my house.
10:00 - We got to shooting straight away. After filming a couple of clips and checking them, I realised the sound wasn't as sharp and clear as I wanted it to be. I decided to change the location of the microphone and move it close to the source of the sound, this seemed to resolved the sound issues.
10:40 - Even with the sound issues, we managed to stay on time with the schedule. Alex arrived at the first location ready to shoot his first scene. His first scene actually took place just outside my house and again I experienced some sound problems. The wind interfered with the microphone. To resolve this issue we decided to film the scene again but with me holding the microphone closer to Alex and closer to the door he was knocking on. I then used this sound over the original video footage to resolve the issue.
Here's the email:
Once I had the all clear to use my own camera equipment, I was all ready to start my shoot in the morning.
Shoot day
09:00 - I began setting up the camera equipment, lights and microphone so that all was ready by the time my actors arrived.
09:30 - I picked up Jason from the station and took him to the first location, my house.
10:00 - We got to shooting straight away. After filming a couple of clips and checking them, I realised the sound wasn't as sharp and clear as I wanted it to be. I decided to change the location of the microphone and move it close to the source of the sound, this seemed to resolved the sound issues.
10:40 - Even with the sound issues, we managed to stay on time with the schedule. Alex arrived at the first location ready to shoot his first scene. His first scene actually took place just outside my house and again I experienced some sound problems. The wind interfered with the microphone. To resolve this issue we decided to film the scene again but with me holding the microphone closer to Alex and closer to the door he was knocking on. I then used this sound over the original video footage to resolve the issue.
11:00 - These sound issues set us back slightly, however, the next scene was very quick to film, bringing us almost back on time with the schedule.
12:00 - The rest of the shoot went really well, any sound that was slightly off was re-recorded to be combined with the footage when it came to editing. We were done at the first location by 12:00.
13:30 - We arrived at the second location slightly later than planned but got to shooting straight away in order to catch up with the schedule. I decided to firstly record the sound of the water so that I could use this as a consistent sound track for the clips in this location. I then knew I didn't have to worry about the sound for most of the video clips, only the ones with dialogue between the characters.
14:00 - In order to capture the dialogue of my character Kyle, I used a clip mic. This still picked up some background noise but this could be easily corrected when editing.
14:10 - We ended up finishing the shoot really early as I captured all the footage I needed. The shoot ended up going really well with any issues being easily resolved whilst on shoot. The only issues that had to be resolved in editing were the colours and the slight background noise in the last piece of dialogue - but neither of these seem too challenging.
Overall the shoot was a success, I ended up only needing one day out of my two shoot days meaning I can now use this time to start the rough cut of my edit!
Tuesday 15 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Screenwriter - Kay Mellor
Having written a couple of my favourite TV dramas such as The Syndicate and In The Club, I decided to do a bit of research into the works of Kay Mellor.
Biography:
- Kay Mellor was born on 11th May 1951 in Leeds, England.
- She studied at Brenton Hall College which is now part of University of Leeds.
- In 2009 she received an OBE for her services to drama.
- In 2015 Kay Mellor was presented with the Outstanding Contribution to Writing Award at the Writer's Guild Awards.
- Kay Mellor's writing career started in the 1980's when she worked on Coronation Street and Brookside.
Kay Mellor's Key Work:
- Kay Mellor has created many incredible stories for a variety of TV shows but I decided to focus my research into my two favourite shows by her; The Syndicate and In The Club.
- In an interview for the BBC, Kay Mellor revealed that for the second series of The Syndicate, she had the option to either carry on the cast of the first series and show their lives one year on from winning the lottery or starting over with a new cast. She chose to start over with a new cast winning the lottery in order to capture the moment where they win and follow their lives as they make plans / decisions with the money. This way of starting over with a new cast allowed Mellor to explore the different ways people react to coming into large amounts of money.
- Mellor's inspiration for The Syndicate was actually the times we are living in, "where people are desperate and holding on to the dream of winning the lottery as the only solution available". [1] Mellor then took this inspiration and conducted some research into the lives of real life lottery winner. She noticed how sometimes their lives weren't made better by their win, their new wealth actually made their lives more complicated and put strains on relationships.
(In a similar way to Mellor, I took inspiration from real life for my short film. I found a newspaper article about a man contemplating ending his life following a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I then took inspiration from this real life story to create a fictional dramatic piece about a schizophrenic man and his disruptive hallucination / alter ego.)
- Mellor received a great amount of feedback on her first series of the syndicate, especially about her character Bob who suffered with cancer. Bob's story resonated with so many people, making the story have a bigger impact on the audience and therefore making the show the success it was.
(By making storylines relatable, Mellor was able to attract a bigger audience. This suggests the great significance of having relatable characters on the reception of the drama. This has inspired my short film because the more relatable I make my main character John, the more interested and captivated my audience will be within the story.)
- Mellor's inspiration for In The Club came from her own early pregnancy at age 15. However, she admits that maternity has changed over the years since she had her children so she had to conduct a lot of research into the subject all over again (they even had a team of midwives on the show to give advice).
(This again shows the importance of gaining inspiration from real life. Stories can be found anywhere, and with extensive research and development they can be transformed into an enthralling drama series or short film).
- Something which is notable in all of Kay Mellor's work is her use of realistic characters. This shows that story lines do not need to be extravagant to capture the audience's attention. Due to the captivating characters and storylines Mellor produced, The Syndicate was re-comissioned for a third series and In The Club for a second series. A new Kay Mellor drama series called Love, Lies and Records has been commissioned for BBC One, putting a hold on In The Club and The Syndicate.
I can't wait to see the characters and storylines Mellor has created for her new series, I'm also very excited to see if she will write any more series of In The Club and The Syndicate!
Bibliography:
[1] BBC Media Centre, 2012. Interview with Kay Mellor [online] Available at: <http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/syndicate/mellor> [Accessed on: 17/11/2016]
Biography:
- Kay Mellor was born on 11th May 1951 in Leeds, England.
- She studied at Brenton Hall College which is now part of University of Leeds.
- In 2009 she received an OBE for her services to drama.
- In 2015 Kay Mellor was presented with the Outstanding Contribution to Writing Award at the Writer's Guild Awards.
- Kay Mellor's writing career started in the 1980's when she worked on Coronation Street and Brookside.
Kay Mellor's Key Work:
 |
| The Syndicate (Series 3) |
 |
| In The Club (Series 1) |
- In an interview for the BBC, Kay Mellor revealed that for the second series of The Syndicate, she had the option to either carry on the cast of the first series and show their lives one year on from winning the lottery or starting over with a new cast. She chose to start over with a new cast winning the lottery in order to capture the moment where they win and follow their lives as they make plans / decisions with the money. This way of starting over with a new cast allowed Mellor to explore the different ways people react to coming into large amounts of money.
- Mellor's inspiration for The Syndicate was actually the times we are living in, "where people are desperate and holding on to the dream of winning the lottery as the only solution available". [1] Mellor then took this inspiration and conducted some research into the lives of real life lottery winner. She noticed how sometimes their lives weren't made better by their win, their new wealth actually made their lives more complicated and put strains on relationships.
(In a similar way to Mellor, I took inspiration from real life for my short film. I found a newspaper article about a man contemplating ending his life following a diagnosis of schizophrenia. I then took inspiration from this real life story to create a fictional dramatic piece about a schizophrenic man and his disruptive hallucination / alter ego.)
- Mellor received a great amount of feedback on her first series of the syndicate, especially about her character Bob who suffered with cancer. Bob's story resonated with so many people, making the story have a bigger impact on the audience and therefore making the show the success it was.
(By making storylines relatable, Mellor was able to attract a bigger audience. This suggests the great significance of having relatable characters on the reception of the drama. This has inspired my short film because the more relatable I make my main character John, the more interested and captivated my audience will be within the story.)
- Mellor's inspiration for In The Club came from her own early pregnancy at age 15. However, she admits that maternity has changed over the years since she had her children so she had to conduct a lot of research into the subject all over again (they even had a team of midwives on the show to give advice).
(This again shows the importance of gaining inspiration from real life. Stories can be found anywhere, and with extensive research and development they can be transformed into an enthralling drama series or short film).
- Something which is notable in all of Kay Mellor's work is her use of realistic characters. This shows that story lines do not need to be extravagant to capture the audience's attention. Due to the captivating characters and storylines Mellor produced, The Syndicate was re-comissioned for a third series and In The Club for a second series. A new Kay Mellor drama series called Love, Lies and Records has been commissioned for BBC One, putting a hold on In The Club and The Syndicate.
I can't wait to see the characters and storylines Mellor has created for her new series, I'm also very excited to see if she will write any more series of In The Club and The Syndicate!
Bibliography:
[1] BBC Media Centre, 2012. Interview with Kay Mellor [online] Available at: <http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/syndicate/mellor> [Accessed on: 17/11/2016]
Monday 14 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Screenwriter - Julian Fellowes
As a fan of Downton Abbey, researching the screenwriter of the series interested me greatly.
Biography:
- Julian Fellowes was born on 17th August 1949 in Cairo, Egypt.
- After being educated in multiple private schools and studying English Literature at Magdalene College Cambridge, Fellowes began acting in small TV roles. His success as an actor slowly grew, leading him to star in British TV shows like Monarch in the Glen, The Aristocrats and Heartbeat.
- After 30 years of being a somewhat successful actor and having 12 screenplays rejected, Fellowes found great success with his screenwriting for Gosford Park. He has won several awards for his writing, including:
- New York Film Critics Circle award for Best Screenplay for Gosford Park in 2001
- Academy Award for Best Writing (Screenplay written directly for the screen) for Gosford Park in 2002
- Writers Guild of America award for Best Screenplay for Gosford Park in 2002
- ShoWest award for Screenwriter of the Year in 2002
- Broadcasting Press Guild Awards writer's award for Downton Abbey in 2011
- Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special for Downton Abbey in 2011.
Julian Fellowes' Key Work:
- Fellowes' most notable works are Gosford Park and Downton Abbey. As a writer of both film and television screenplays, Fellowes has been able to compare the difference in the writing process. Fellowes revealed that when filming starts for a series of Downton, there would be roughly 4 scripts ready to use and maybe a 5th that needs some reworking, meaning that the rest are produced under time pressure. However, the shoot for a film doesn't start until everyone is content with the script, meaning less pressure for him as the writer.
- Downton Abbey has a multi-strand narrative with many different stories all occurring at once. This makes for a constantly appealing and intriguing show as there are many plot twists to keep the audience interested. This interested me and inspired my project as it has made me realise the importance of having more than just 1 event occurring in the narrative.
(e.g. my short film would be very tedious if my character John constantly gave into Kyle's calls and visits. I created a couple of intertwined storylines instead - 1 about John's stress at work and another about his mental health. Both storylines compliment each other and help to create a more interesting narrative.)
- Fellowes is a big believer in discipline, you should not wait until you're in the mood to write, instead you should just sit down and write, things can be corrected / rewritten later. He also believes in understanding the characters before attempting to write the script - "You've got to sit down and think 'today I am going to do the beginning of Mrs Patmore's plot". [1] Once the character's individual lives and plots are worked out, they can then be put into the script and the narrative can commence. This shows that even the best screenwriters still follow the basic rules of screenwriting.
(When starting out writing my screenplay, I had great difficulty figuring out which way my narrative was going to go. This was because I hadn't fully worked out who my characters were. Once I had worked out each of my character's individual plots and who they were as people, I was then able to write my screenplay much more easily.)
- I also enjoyed Fellowes' development of the characters throughout the six series. My personal favourite character development was that of Thomas Barrow, the villainous, conniving footman who eventually transforms into a genuine and pleasant character whom the audience sympathise with.
(This character development has inspired my work as it shows the importance of plot development / plot twists to the interest / enjoyability of a drama. Therefore, in my drama, my character John goes from being an uptight, stressed, emotionally fragile character who ignores calls from his mother and cancels plans with friends, into a relaxed, calm and stable character who willingly calls his mother and socialises with friends).
Julian Fellowes' incredible screenwriting and storytelling made Downton Abbey the success it was, I can't wait to see the stories he tells next!
Bibliography:
[1] How Did They Do It? 2013 Interview:Julian Fellowes: Actor, Writer [online] Available at: <https://howdidtheydoit.net/creative/lord-julian-fellowes-actor-screenwriter-novelist/> [Accessed on: 14/11/2016]
Biography:
- After being educated in multiple private schools and studying English Literature at Magdalene College Cambridge, Fellowes began acting in small TV roles. His success as an actor slowly grew, leading him to star in British TV shows like Monarch in the Glen, The Aristocrats and Heartbeat.
- After 30 years of being a somewhat successful actor and having 12 screenplays rejected, Fellowes found great success with his screenwriting for Gosford Park. He has won several awards for his writing, including:
- New York Film Critics Circle award for Best Screenplay for Gosford Park in 2001
- Academy Award for Best Writing (Screenplay written directly for the screen) for Gosford Park in 2002
- Writers Guild of America award for Best Screenplay for Gosford Park in 2002
- ShoWest award for Screenwriter of the Year in 2002
- Broadcasting Press Guild Awards writer's award for Downton Abbey in 2011
- Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special for Downton Abbey in 2011.
Julian Fellowes' Key Work:
- Fellowes' most notable works are Gosford Park and Downton Abbey. As a writer of both film and television screenplays, Fellowes has been able to compare the difference in the writing process. Fellowes revealed that when filming starts for a series of Downton, there would be roughly 4 scripts ready to use and maybe a 5th that needs some reworking, meaning that the rest are produced under time pressure. However, the shoot for a film doesn't start until everyone is content with the script, meaning less pressure for him as the writer.
- Downton Abbey has a multi-strand narrative with many different stories all occurring at once. This makes for a constantly appealing and intriguing show as there are many plot twists to keep the audience interested. This interested me and inspired my project as it has made me realise the importance of having more than just 1 event occurring in the narrative.
(e.g. my short film would be very tedious if my character John constantly gave into Kyle's calls and visits. I created a couple of intertwined storylines instead - 1 about John's stress at work and another about his mental health. Both storylines compliment each other and help to create a more interesting narrative.)
- Fellowes is a big believer in discipline, you should not wait until you're in the mood to write, instead you should just sit down and write, things can be corrected / rewritten later. He also believes in understanding the characters before attempting to write the script - "You've got to sit down and think 'today I am going to do the beginning of Mrs Patmore's plot". [1] Once the character's individual lives and plots are worked out, they can then be put into the script and the narrative can commence. This shows that even the best screenwriters still follow the basic rules of screenwriting.
(When starting out writing my screenplay, I had great difficulty figuring out which way my narrative was going to go. This was because I hadn't fully worked out who my characters were. Once I had worked out each of my character's individual plots and who they were as people, I was then able to write my screenplay much more easily.)
- I also enjoyed Fellowes' development of the characters throughout the six series. My personal favourite character development was that of Thomas Barrow, the villainous, conniving footman who eventually transforms into a genuine and pleasant character whom the audience sympathise with.
(This character development has inspired my work as it shows the importance of plot development / plot twists to the interest / enjoyability of a drama. Therefore, in my drama, my character John goes from being an uptight, stressed, emotionally fragile character who ignores calls from his mother and cancels plans with friends, into a relaxed, calm and stable character who willingly calls his mother and socialises with friends).
Julian Fellowes' incredible screenwriting and storytelling made Downton Abbey the success it was, I can't wait to see the stories he tells next!
Bibliography:
[1] How Did They Do It? 2013 Interview:Julian Fellowes: Actor, Writer [online] Available at: <https://howdidtheydoit.net/creative/lord-julian-fellowes-actor-screenwriter-novelist/> [Accessed on: 14/11/2016]
Friday 11 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Preparation for the shoot (Shot List and Filming Schedule)
Shot List:
Before filming my 2 minute trailer, I prepared a shot list so that filming would be as efficient as possible. The shot list detailed all the shots I wanted to get for my trailer, I wanted to make sure I had enough coverage, even if a fair bit of the footage didn't end up getting used. Once the shots were filmed I was able to tick them off one by one until all the footage I needed was captured.
Here is my shot list for my shoot:
Before filming my 2 minute trailer, I prepared a shot list so that filming would be as efficient as possible. The shot list detailed all the shots I wanted to get for my trailer, I wanted to make sure I had enough coverage, even if a fair bit of the footage didn't end up getting used. Once the shots were filmed I was able to tick them off one by one until all the footage I needed was captured.
Here is my shot list for my shoot:
On set I had this shot list to hand as well as a copy of the script. As my shot list was so detailed, this was used a lot more than the script as it saved time (instead of having to flick through the script to find directions for the characters.) The script was used for the sections of dialogue, but apart from that the shot list was the main tool for both myself and the actors.
Filming Schedule:
As well as having a shot list, I decided to create a filming schedule. This was to ensure we were spending the appropriate amount of time on each section of the shoot.
Here is my schedule for the shoot:
Although the schedule was only very vague, when paired with the shot list it helped to make the filming process very efficient as the actors knew exactly when they were needed and what they had to do, and I knew exactly who I was filming, what they were doing and what time they were doing it.
I gave both of my actors a copy of the script, shot list and filming schedule so they knew exactly what to expect on the day of filming.
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Preparation for the shoot (Risk Assessments and Film Permits)
Once I had found my actors and locations for the shoot, I then went about filling in the risk assessments and gaining film permits for my locations.
Risk Assessments:
In order to use the kit from UCA, I needed to fill out 2 risk assessment forms (1 for each location). The risk assessments had to include any potential hazards and ways of minimising the risk of this hazard damaging the equipment. Once the risk assessments had been filled out, they were handed to Simon to be checked and signed.
Here are the copies of my risk assessments:
Sun Pier shoot:
In order to use the kit from UCA, I needed to fill out 2 risk assessment forms (1 for each location). The risk assessments had to include any potential hazards and ways of minimising the risk of this hazard damaging the equipment. Once the risk assessments had been filled out, they were handed to Simon to be checked and signed.
Here are the copies of my risk assessments:
Sun Pier shoot:
My House shoot:
Film permits:
Once I'd filled out my risk assessments, I then went about contacting the Kent Film Office about film permits. To do this I had to fill out an online application for student filming.
This is the information I had to provide:
I then received a couple of emails from Hannah at the film office requesting some further information and to have a look at my risk assessments. Once these further questions had been answered and the risk assessments had been looked over by them, I was granted film permits for the 2 days of my shoot:
Once these were sorted I just had to go about preparing my shot list for the shoot to ensure total efficiency when the shoot day came around.
STORY TELLING UNIT: Preparation for the shoot (Actors and Locations)
Before shooting for 'The Meeting' (which I later renamed 'Distracted') could commence, there were several things I had to arrange before hand.
Actors:
The first thing I had to do was find my actors. Due to this being our first project, we were allowed to use friends and family as our actors. Therefore, I decided to use my friends Jason Efstathiou and Alex Hargood.
Jason Efstathiou as John.
I chose Jason to play my character John as he has the exact look I was going for. I wanted a bearded man to show that John has more things to worry about than shaving and personal grooming etc.
Jason is also very good at following directions and commands which made him an ideal actor.
Alex Hargood as Kyle.
I chose Alex to play my character Kyle as again he already had the look I was going for.
Alex was also extremely good at following instructions, meaning that shooting the trailer was very straight forward as the actors did exactly what they were required to do.
Locations:
I then had to decide on locations. For my trailer I decided I needed 2 main locations, John's house and a pier. I decided that John's house would be very simple, with bits of clutter scattered here and there. The majority of the action within John's house would occur within his office space, I saw the breakfast bar in my kitchen as the perfect location for this.
The black worktops create a very simple look which would then make the audience focus more of the clutter that surrounds John. This location also allowed me to get the overhead shot of John working in his office due to the amount of space available.
My screenplay also involved John walking through a hallway. The hallway in my house is very simplistic and therefore made the perfect location for this scene. I also needed to shoot a scene where Kyle was trying to get into the house past John. In terms of getting a film permit for this scene, it made great sense to shoot this at my house where I would have no problem getting the home owner's permission.
The pier I decided to use was the Sun Pier in Chatham. Having been to this pier previously, I immediately thought of it when looking for locations. My character needed to be followed down the pier for a while, the space on the Sun Pier allowed me to do this. I also needed the water levels to be quite high to make my story line look probable, the water always seems to look higher at this pier than any others in the surrounding area making it the ideal location.
Actors:
The first thing I had to do was find my actors. Due to this being our first project, we were allowed to use friends and family as our actors. Therefore, I decided to use my friends Jason Efstathiou and Alex Hargood.
Jason Efstathiou as John.
I chose Jason to play my character John as he has the exact look I was going for. I wanted a bearded man to show that John has more things to worry about than shaving and personal grooming etc.
Jason is also very good at following directions and commands which made him an ideal actor.
Alex Hargood as Kyle.
I chose Alex to play my character Kyle as again he already had the look I was going for.
Alex was also extremely good at following instructions, meaning that shooting the trailer was very straight forward as the actors did exactly what they were required to do.
Locations:
I then had to decide on locations. For my trailer I decided I needed 2 main locations, John's house and a pier. I decided that John's house would be very simple, with bits of clutter scattered here and there. The majority of the action within John's house would occur within his office space, I saw the breakfast bar in my kitchen as the perfect location for this.
The black worktops create a very simple look which would then make the audience focus more of the clutter that surrounds John. This location also allowed me to get the overhead shot of John working in his office due to the amount of space available.
My screenplay also involved John walking through a hallway. The hallway in my house is very simplistic and therefore made the perfect location for this scene. I also needed to shoot a scene where Kyle was trying to get into the house past John. In terms of getting a film permit for this scene, it made great sense to shoot this at my house where I would have no problem getting the home owner's permission.
The pier I decided to use was the Sun Pier in Chatham. Having been to this pier previously, I immediately thought of it when looking for locations. My character needed to be followed down the pier for a while, the space on the Sun Pier allowed me to do this. I also needed the water levels to be quite high to make my story line look probable, the water always seems to look higher at this pier than any others in the surrounding area making it the ideal location.
Wednesday 9 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Script - First Draft and Feedback
When it came to writing my script, I had great difficulty getting going with the story. I decided to speak to Simon to see if he could point me in the right direction and help me get over these walls that I kept hitting. He suggested that I needed to know my characters better. I needed to work out who they were as individual, what their goals and experiences were. I took his advice and implemented it immediately. I spent the day writing out basically my whole characters' life stories. Although it did seem rather long and pointless at the time, working out their whole life and their goals really helped me to write my script. Once I knew who my characters were, my ideas for the script just kept flowing. Soon enough I had my first draft.
In this draft I decided to include 4 moments.
- My beginning: Kyle knocking repeatedly on the door and distracting John
- A moment in the middle: John attempting to take his own life
- Another moment in the middle: The reveal that Kyle is not real
- My ending: Kyle is gone
Summary of the scenes:
- Kyle distracts John
- John has phone call with mum (during phone call - hint that Kyle isn't real)
- Kyle keeps distracting John until breaking point
- John goes to the pier
- Kyle follows and prevents John jumping off
- Revealed that John needs to go to doctors
- Go to doctors
- John receives diagnosis of schizophrenia
- Two months after treatment, John heads back to pier.
- John talks on phone to mum and reveals Kyle is gone (was just a hallucination).
I knew my script wasn't perfect but didn't really know how to go about changing it, so I decided to hand it in as it was and wait to hear some feedback.
Feedback from Steve:
Structure:
- Need more scenes to show Kyle and John's bothersome alter ego.
[maybe have a scene where Kyle goes to John's office but John refuses to speak to him]
- We need to see John first - we need to understand him as a character before the action.
[could start with John and his mum face to face having a conversation]
- The phone call is too clumsy - not enough character or development
[again, start the scene with John and mum talking face to face]
- Kyle is gone too early
[John takes Kyle to doctor's with him, the reveal that Kyle is not real can happen here]
Action and Dialogue:
- Needs to be more action and interaction between John and Kyle - more scenes - more time passing
[Kyle needs to affect John more - need to actually have confrontations between them]
- The dialogue is too wordy.
The next steps:
Having received this feedback from Steve, I am now going to move on to my second draft using his advice.
Tuesday 1 November 2016
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Short Film - 97% by Ben Brand (2013)
One of the short films I chose to research was 97% by Ben Brand. I actually stumbled upon this short film by chance but ended up really enjoying it.
Synopsis:
"Via an app on his phone, Bert discovers that a 97% love match is near. Will he be able to find her before the subway train reaches the final station?"
Review:
- I liked the establishing shot at the beginning and how it follows the central character (Bert) to the subway. I like how it helped to set the scene for the action and how it was easy to follow.
- I liked how the main theme of the short film was established within the first minute of the film. The character looks at a couple going the opposite way on the escalator sharing an intimate moment, suggesting he is looking for a similar sort of thing.
- The story telling was very clear, the plot was very easy to follow despite there being no dialogue.
- I liked the director's choice to use no dialogue, it makes the piece unique and captivating. It also prevents there being a language barrier, meaning anyone from any country can enjoy the piece.
- There are many twists and 'moments' in this short film, making it very interesting which helps to keep the audience's attention.
e.g. the man who thinks Bert is looking at him romantically, the white van that almost hits Bert, the woman who Bert thinks is looking at him but is actually looking at her boyfriend coming up being him etc.
- The shots used help to tell the story in a creative yet clear way. The character is looking for his love match but uses methods such as looking in the reflection of the window to try and find them.
- The final twist of losing the 97% love match but then gaining a 98% love match was very entertaining and helps to show that you can carry on throwing twists into a story right up until the end.
How it influenced my short film:
- The film made me realise that I could use a mixture of tripod and handheld shots to convey my character's emotional journey. During an interview with the director Ben Brown, he revealed that "The start was all shot from a tripod. We wanted to slowly come closer to the main character and sort of unveil him on the escalator. For the rest of the film (from when he gets the love match message) we wanted to suggest some uneasy feeling of the main character by going handheld."
e.g. in my film I could start off by using tripod shots and then as my character becomes increasingly stressed and distracted by his alter ego, I could switch to using handheld shots to convey his emotional vulnerability.
- The lack of dialogue in this short film really influenced me to think about having less dialogue in my short film. The story was told very clearly through the camera work, sound design (non-diegetic background music) and editing.
e.g. when my character is contemplating jumping off the pier, slow orchestral music can be used to convey his mood / emotional state.
Synopsis:
"Via an app on his phone, Bert discovers that a 97% love match is near. Will he be able to find her before the subway train reaches the final station?"
Review:
- I liked the establishing shot at the beginning and how it follows the central character (Bert) to the subway. I like how it helped to set the scene for the action and how it was easy to follow.
- I liked how the main theme of the short film was established within the first minute of the film. The character looks at a couple going the opposite way on the escalator sharing an intimate moment, suggesting he is looking for a similar sort of thing.
- The story telling was very clear, the plot was very easy to follow despite there being no dialogue.
- I liked the director's choice to use no dialogue, it makes the piece unique and captivating. It also prevents there being a language barrier, meaning anyone from any country can enjoy the piece.
- There are many twists and 'moments' in this short film, making it very interesting which helps to keep the audience's attention.
e.g. the man who thinks Bert is looking at him romantically, the white van that almost hits Bert, the woman who Bert thinks is looking at him but is actually looking at her boyfriend coming up being him etc.
- The shots used help to tell the story in a creative yet clear way. The character is looking for his love match but uses methods such as looking in the reflection of the window to try and find them.
- The final twist of losing the 97% love match but then gaining a 98% love match was very entertaining and helps to show that you can carry on throwing twists into a story right up until the end.
How it influenced my short film:
- The film made me realise that I could use a mixture of tripod and handheld shots to convey my character's emotional journey. During an interview with the director Ben Brown, he revealed that "The start was all shot from a tripod. We wanted to slowly come closer to the main character and sort of unveil him on the escalator. For the rest of the film (from when he gets the love match message) we wanted to suggest some uneasy feeling of the main character by going handheld."
e.g. in my film I could start off by using tripod shots and then as my character becomes increasingly stressed and distracted by his alter ego, I could switch to using handheld shots to convey his emotional vulnerability.
- The lack of dialogue in this short film really influenced me to think about having less dialogue in my short film. The story was told very clearly through the camera work, sound design (non-diegetic background music) and editing.
e.g. when my character is contemplating jumping off the pier, slow orchestral music can be used to convey his mood / emotional state.
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Short Film - Lick the Star by Sofia Coppola (1998)
One of the short films I chose to research was Lick The Star by Sofia Coppola. I chose to research this short film as I wanted to see how a successful director / producer like Sofia Coppola started out.
- Lick the Star was Sofia Coppola's first short film.
- It is 14 minutes long.
- It was shot on black and white 16mm film.
- Focuses on a group of school girls plotting a scheme to make the boys at the school weaker by poisoning their lunches with arsenic.
- The 'queen bee' Chloe gets the idea from her obsession with the book 'Flowers in the Attic'.
- Depicts high school life from the female perspective.
Review:
- Quite dialogue heavy - the plot is revealed through what the characters say rather than what they show. This at time felt a bit confusing as the audience because the dialogue wasn't always clear, yet their actions weren't clearly shown either leaving the story to be quite vague in places.
- Some things are shown through shots and then reinforced by dialogue. I liked this because it added strength and clarity to bits of the story.
e.g. low angle shot of girls walking to the school field - places the characters in a powerful position.
- Personally, I feel like the 'moments' didn't have the intended effect on the audience - the reveal that the plan is to slowly poison the boys at the school isn't revealed in a shocking way, however this is more down to the acting rather than the story telling.
e.g. When Kate says the line "Kill the rats?" - it sounds very staged and rehearsed which I found quite distracting rather than the intended effect of shocking the audience.
- The change / plot twist / downfall of the 'queen bee' Chloe happens quite near the end. To me this felt rushed and the story wasn't communicated very well.
- I felt the start of the short film was stronger than the end of the film. Chloe's position as queen bee was established very early on through showing rather than telling. Her introduction to the piece shows her walking confidently through the school to a piece of non-diegetic soundtrack which has strong beats - reflecting her strength / power as a character.
- Overall I did enjoy the short film and was able to get a sense of the story. The strengths of the short film include: establishing the positions of the characters in the school hierarchy and reinforcing shots through dialogue. The weaknesses of the short film are: the rushed story-telling towards the end, the acting and the lack of showing the action rather than telling the action.
How it influenced my short film:
- It has helped me to understand the importance of using shots to show the acton rather than using a lot of dialogue to explain the action. Showing the action is a lot more effective than putting the words into the character's mouths.
e.g. when my character in my short film is feeling suicidal, I will show this through close up shots of his face (depicting his confused, stressed and panicked emotions), rather than using too much dialogue.
- I liked the way Sofia Coppola used music to reinforce Chloe's position of power. I want to use the same technique to support my character's fragile emotions.
e.g. when my character is rushing to the pier in a state of panic, I will use fast paced music to reinforce his emotion.
- Lick the Star was Sofia Coppola's first short film.
- It is 14 minutes long.
- It was shot on black and white 16mm film.
- Focuses on a group of school girls plotting a scheme to make the boys at the school weaker by poisoning their lunches with arsenic.
- The 'queen bee' Chloe gets the idea from her obsession with the book 'Flowers in the Attic'.
- Depicts high school life from the female perspective.
- Quite dialogue heavy - the plot is revealed through what the characters say rather than what they show. This at time felt a bit confusing as the audience because the dialogue wasn't always clear, yet their actions weren't clearly shown either leaving the story to be quite vague in places.
- Some things are shown through shots and then reinforced by dialogue. I liked this because it added strength and clarity to bits of the story.
e.g. low angle shot of girls walking to the school field - places the characters in a powerful position.
- Personally, I feel like the 'moments' didn't have the intended effect on the audience - the reveal that the plan is to slowly poison the boys at the school isn't revealed in a shocking way, however this is more down to the acting rather than the story telling.
e.g. When Kate says the line "Kill the rats?" - it sounds very staged and rehearsed which I found quite distracting rather than the intended effect of shocking the audience.
- The change / plot twist / downfall of the 'queen bee' Chloe happens quite near the end. To me this felt rushed and the story wasn't communicated very well.
- I felt the start of the short film was stronger than the end of the film. Chloe's position as queen bee was established very early on through showing rather than telling. Her introduction to the piece shows her walking confidently through the school to a piece of non-diegetic soundtrack which has strong beats - reflecting her strength / power as a character.
- Overall I did enjoy the short film and was able to get a sense of the story. The strengths of the short film include: establishing the positions of the characters in the school hierarchy and reinforcing shots through dialogue. The weaknesses of the short film are: the rushed story-telling towards the end, the acting and the lack of showing the action rather than telling the action.
How it influenced my short film:
- It has helped me to understand the importance of using shots to show the acton rather than using a lot of dialogue to explain the action. Showing the action is a lot more effective than putting the words into the character's mouths.
e.g. when my character in my short film is feeling suicidal, I will show this through close up shots of his face (depicting his confused, stressed and panicked emotions), rather than using too much dialogue.
- I liked the way Sofia Coppola used music to reinforce Chloe's position of power. I want to use the same technique to support my character's fragile emotions.
e.g. when my character is rushing to the pier in a state of panic, I will use fast paced music to reinforce his emotion.
STORY-TELLING UNIT: Research - Short Film - Removed by Nathanael Matanick (2013)
The last short film I decided to review was Removed by Nathanael Matanick.
Synopsis:
"A 10-year-old girl navigates her way through the foster care system, after being removed from her home and separated from her younger brother."
Review:
- The use of the diegetic dialogue / argument between the mother and her boyfriend, combined with the solemn piano based non diegetic background music helps to set the scene as an unhappy / abusive household where the children are having to take care of each other.
- The non diegetic voice over by the girl helps to reinforce the action that we are seeing on screen. "Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all" - she speaks these words as her mum's boyfriend shouts at her mum.
- The voiceover also helps to reinforce to emotion in the short film. You can hear a sad / sorrowful tone in the girl's voice which helps to set the mood of the drama.
- The slow motion shots help to add to the dramatic nature of the piece.
- The acting is strong and believable which adds to the realistic nature of this drama.
- The use of diegetic sound in the school scenes helps to set the scene, showing she is still a school child but has to deal with a lot at home. The addition of the non diegetic background music helps to convey that although she is a school child, she is enduring a lot of stress / pain at home.
- "I am unseen, unheard, unwanted". This dialogue occurs whilst her picture is being taken for a school photo - she is visibly upset yet no one is stopping to take care of her, reinforcing her dialogue.
- The diegetic sound of sirens / dialogue "police, get on the ground" again helps to depict the disruptive unsettled, abusive nature of her life.
- The ambient outside sounds (e.g. crickets and the wind blowing) used shortly after the girl is separated from her mother and brother helps to convey the feelings of loneliness that she is feeling. I really liked the effect of this as it enhances that feeling of isolation created in the piece.
How it influenced my short film:
- I really liked the combination of voiceover and dialogue. I liked the way the voiceover reinforced the action occurring on screen and enhanced the emotion. In my piece I want to use a section of voiceover as a sort of 'reveal' about my character's mental disorder (schizophrenia).
e.g. when my character John is preparing to jump off of the pier, a voice in his head could be persuading him to jump.
- The minimal dialogue in this piece also reinforced my desire to create a drama with little dialogue. It helped to show that a powerful story can be told mainly by the action occurring on the screen. (The voiceover of this piece was not even necessary to show the emotion and drama this piece contained. - however, it did help to enhance certain aspects of the story.
Synopsis:
"A 10-year-old girl navigates her way through the foster care system, after being removed from her home and separated from her younger brother."
Review:
- The use of the diegetic dialogue / argument between the mother and her boyfriend, combined with the solemn piano based non diegetic background music helps to set the scene as an unhappy / abusive household where the children are having to take care of each other.
- The non diegetic voice over by the girl helps to reinforce the action that we are seeing on screen. "Sometimes someone hurts you so bad, it stops hurting at all" - she speaks these words as her mum's boyfriend shouts at her mum.
- The voiceover also helps to reinforce to emotion in the short film. You can hear a sad / sorrowful tone in the girl's voice which helps to set the mood of the drama.
- The slow motion shots help to add to the dramatic nature of the piece.
- The acting is strong and believable which adds to the realistic nature of this drama.
- The use of diegetic sound in the school scenes helps to set the scene, showing she is still a school child but has to deal with a lot at home. The addition of the non diegetic background music helps to convey that although she is a school child, she is enduring a lot of stress / pain at home.
- "I am unseen, unheard, unwanted". This dialogue occurs whilst her picture is being taken for a school photo - she is visibly upset yet no one is stopping to take care of her, reinforcing her dialogue.
- The diegetic sound of sirens / dialogue "police, get on the ground" again helps to depict the disruptive unsettled, abusive nature of her life.
- The ambient outside sounds (e.g. crickets and the wind blowing) used shortly after the girl is separated from her mother and brother helps to convey the feelings of loneliness that she is feeling. I really liked the effect of this as it enhances that feeling of isolation created in the piece.
How it influenced my short film:
- I really liked the combination of voiceover and dialogue. I liked the way the voiceover reinforced the action occurring on screen and enhanced the emotion. In my piece I want to use a section of voiceover as a sort of 'reveal' about my character's mental disorder (schizophrenia).
e.g. when my character John is preparing to jump off of the pier, a voice in his head could be persuading him to jump.
- The minimal dialogue in this piece also reinforced my desire to create a drama with little dialogue. It helped to show that a powerful story can be told mainly by the action occurring on the screen. (The voiceover of this piece was not even necessary to show the emotion and drama this piece contained. - however, it did help to enhance certain aspects of the story.
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